Thursday, April 28, 2011

Let me tell you a secret.

  1. I wish I could be kissed in the rain.  Yes, I know, it's so cliche.  That's what makes it so beautiful.
  2. I wish I was skinny again.
  3. I wish my hair was still long and wavy.  I cut it short and it's just not happening..
  4. I wish I could feel beautiful.
  5. I wish I could organize a trick-or-treat at my local hospital.
  6. I wish I could be completely honest with myself and others, no matter the circumstances.
  7. I wish I could be myself around others, and not so scared of showing my true c o l o r s.
  8. I wish I could stop biting my nails, and paint them really pretty with red nail polish and  glitter.
  9. I wish I owned a pet rat.  I want one of those things so bad.
  10. I wish I could go to Hawaii.
  11. I wish I could wear strappy, black, high heels.
  12. I wish the world was a happier place.
  13. I wish people weren't so mean to one another.
  14. I wish we could love unselfishly.
  15. I wish others could see the beauty in photography.
  16. I wish I had enough pillows and blankets to make an awesome fort.
  17. I wish I had an ice cream sandwich right now.
  18. I wish I could go to Paris.
  19. I wish I had an umbrella.
  20. I wish people weren't so mean to their animals.
  21. I wish people weren't so mean to each other.
  22. I wish the world was peaceful.
  23. I wish to someday talk to an angel.
  24. I wish I was better at playing guitar.
  25. I wish we weren't so ashamed of falling to our knees at prayer.
I wish for a lot of things.

I wish you all a beautiful day full of dreams.

Monday, April 25, 2011


I'm trying to do my homework, but it's oh-so-hard with a computer in front of me.  I'm in such a "chill" mood.  I just want to sit here and look at pictures of puppies and float into a world of love and angels.  Life is so beautiful.  I kind of love it.

Now, back to English.

he's a bird.

Last night, he let me into the depths of his soul.

It's as if he opened up his heart, and let me step inside, walk around, poke through the things that make him smile and the things he thinks about when his frown pushes forward.  There's so much more to him and people care to realize.

He's amazing.  So, darn, freaking amazing.  I'm falling even harder.

Someone stop me, please.  I can't be hurt again.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Take Me

All I ever needed was to be everything you wanted.

Is that so much to ask,

When your heart changes like the clothes you wear?

Friday, April 22, 2011

La Beach

It's Good Friday, and my school is the only one in my state  to be in session because there is no religious freedom here.

I'm itching for summer to be here.  I can practically feel the sun, warm on my skin as I lie out by the lake, with drops of water cooling me when the waves crash against the pier.  Oh, summer.  When will you finally be mine?

My best friend, Darcy and I have been working on a list of things we want to do this summer.  It's  becoming quite the list.  We have included everything from learning how to skateboard, to bombarding our friends with silly string at work, going to the beach (which we will do a lot, considering we basically live on Lake Michigan), and having light saber wars downtown at night.

Have I mentioned how absolutely pumped I am?

So anyways, I figured I might make my own list of things that I want to do before the summer is over.  I'm going  to start working on it today, and I'll post it to my blog when summer begins.

I probably won't post again until Monday, so have a good weekend lovelies!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

All Locked Up

You may or may not be following my other blog, Saraology, but that is the blog that I write for my journalism class.  It's supposed to make people smile on their bad days, and I should be updating it right now since I don't have much to do in this class, but I'm not happy right now.  I want to curl up in a ball and just cry and cry, not write about happy things that make me smile and blah blah blah.

That's something I like about this blog.  It's reflective, not just joy joy joy.

Joy, joy, joy.

I hate being sad.

Yesterday, someone told me that I look like this girl.  They actually thought it was me at first glance.  It kind of made me happy.  That girl is pretty.  But I'm not.  The fact that someone thought I look like this pretty girl really makes me smile.  I decided to take a picture of myself looking down like she is, just to compare.  But this is what I got.

Eeh, I don't know.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


He's adorable.

I went to his house last night, he had his arm around me the whole time and made me smile huge despite everything I was crying about an hour earlier.  He gave me big hugs, held my hands, cuddled me, talked to me, made me laugh, looked into my eyes, tickled me, and picked on me when my hair got all messed up.  (:

The butterflies have been going crazy in my tummy all day, and I'm starting to like him a lot.

It's absolutely terrifying.

Your eyes cannot name me.

I realized something yesterday.

God gave me eyes to see where I'm going, because I'm a clutz anyways.  If I was blind, the rest of the world would be in big trouble, not to mention myself.  My eyes are not supposed to see the beauty of other people, that's what my heart is for...

Why do we see with our eyes?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

At no time, does the affection bear false witness.

Maybe it's time you returned to the sky...

It's been pretty dark up there without it's brightest star.

You know I'd follow you up there.

I'd do anything to be where you are.

Monday, April 18, 2011

I found this on We <3 It and just thought it was the sweetest thing ever.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Adventure of My Mind

This post is going to be basically pointless.  Just warning you right now.

I was just thinking yesterday about how much I love blogging.  It's probably the coolest thing ever.  I love the fact that every thought I have, I can just come and type out as much as I want into a blog post and publish it and know that someone, somewhere is reading it and thinking about what I've said.

I'm a quiet girl.  Anyone else who is quiet knows how frustrating it is when you say something and it goes completely unnoticed.

Hello?  I'm here.  I'm important too.

Not only do I love blogging, but I love reading the blogs that I follow as well.  You guys are so beautiful.  Your words give me chills and it makes me wish that I knew you.  I'm a freshman in high school, so I just wish that I could bring all of you to school with me everyday and we could be friends.

I'm sorry that this wasn't the most profound post ever, but I felt the need to share.  I hope my voice will be heard.

Friday, April 15, 2011


I love butterflies.

But you know what?

I like moths too.

They're the same.

But different.

Both beautiful

In different ways.

Kind of like people.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Watch me try and shine.

Dear Whoever Reads My Blog,

I come to you in a time of great sorrow.  I don't really know how to say this, but I'm afraid.  I was once a very, very sad girl.  I felt alone in the world, and I cried every night.  I wanted somebody to pick me up off of the ground and hold me.  No, not just give me a comforting hug and tell me "I'm here for you if you want to talk."  I wanted them to hold me, and listen to me, and tell me everything was going to be alright.

I'm not going to say I was a fool for feeling this way, for looking back on it, I still wish that someone would have pulled me through it before I eventually just stood up, wiped the tears away from my eyes, and told myself to get over it.  Nobody was going to help me, and that's when I learned that it was time for me to toughen up and take care of myself.

But now.  Now...I am sad.  Not quite as sad as I once was, but sad.  My life feels empty and well, lifeless.  I'm tired of the life I'm living.  Most of the things that are upsetting me are much too personal to just post on the internet, however, what I find to not be quite as personal is the fact that I still long for someone to hold me the way I wanted back when I cried myself into the night.  I'm tired of just getting through the day, doing whatever I can not to cry in front of people.  Yes, in front of people.  I still do let myself sob when no one's around to see or hear me.  The thing is, eyes are always watching.  I am with people all day between the hours of 7:00 a.m. and about 5:30 p.m., possibly later depending on the day.  That's an awful lot of time to hold yourself together.  Myself.

So, I ask myself this question all too often.  When is somebody going to realize that when my lips mumble that I'm "fine", my eyes are whispering ever so softly..."I'm not okay...?"  When is someone going to see that I'm losing a war with that tear in my eye, and just hold me Let me fall apart in their arms.  I don't want to cry alone anymore.  I just need someone.

Thank you so much for listening.

Lots and Lots of Love,


Monday, April 4, 2011


Who loves pearls?  Meee!!!!

Yes, I am one of the rare species of women that would rather wear a necklace of these pretty little gemstones than a pair of diamond earrings.  Don't get me wrong, diamonds are great too.  But there's just something about the pearl that appeals to my eye.

I've been trying to find a nice pair of pearl earrings here lately.  Believe it or not, it hasn't been easy either.  However, my wonderful grammy gave me a pair yesterday.  They're beautiful!  And for some reason, they make me feel beautiful too.  We all have some sort of clothing or accessory or hairstyle that just makes us feel better about ourselves, and this is my latest.

So, being the person I am, I decided to look up the meaning to this gemstone.

"The symbol of feminine wisdom."

Makes sense, doesn't it?  I mean, what kind of a girl do you think of wearing pearls?  I think of a girl in a black and white photograph, hair up in a bun, dark eyeliner.  Classy.  Wise.

The pearl is said to represent honesty, purity, wisdom, and integrity.  Something about these traits though, they are becoming so difficult to find.  Think about it.  Count the people you know that shows each of these traits frequently.  Not many?  Me niether.  I have decided that that is the girl that I want to be.  I want to be honest.  I want to be pure.  I want to be wise.  And I want to preserve my integrity.

Who's with me?